Cheval Blanc Seychelles: Paradise with a Punch

Setting

Cheval Blanc Seychelles sits in a visual masterpiece—soft white sand, turquoise waters, dramatic rock formations, and wetlands that scream cinematic paradise. However, beauty deceives. For instance, I’ve nicknamed the beach Ebola Beach because it seems hell-bent on killing you. Specifically, the ocean demands Navy SEAL skills or actual seal flippers. Even in the “calm” season, it roars, churns, and drowns out everything—including my wife’s hypothetical confession about Pablo, the suspiciously flexible yoga instructor.

Consequently, the resort sidesteps the beach’s hostility. It scatters only a few loungers along the sand and builds away from the shore, a strange choice for a beach resort. As a result, the ocean’s Gordon Ramsay-esque rage ensures you won’t linger. Meanwhile, inland, wetlands weave a lagoon-like charm, but mosquitoes swarm. Although some wetlands dry out seasonally, the bugs don’t care.

Facilities

Cheval Blanc inherited the Banyan Tree’s layout, a creative straitjacket. For example, the spa disappoints, the beach villas underwhelm, and the main area feels soulless, like an empty expanse. Nevertheless, Jean-Michel Gathy’s design shines but lacks heart—think waiting room for a cognitive exam (my brain got a similar diagnosis). Fortunately, the property, walkable from beach villas, packs in four pools to offset the hostile ocean. Additionally, the gym impresses: spacious, TechnoGym-equipped, with spinning and Pilates rooms and luxurious changing areas featuring saunas (steam rooms remain “almost” done).

However, the landscaping needs time to mature. Moreover, the gym’s location opposite the kids’ club creates an odd vibe—sweaty adults eyeing screaming kids isn’t luxury. On the other hand, tennis, padel courts, and a surfing machine add variety, but the spa, tucked away without views, feels sparse despite its stunning design. Incidentally, the Concept Store (LVMH swag shop) isn’t open yet—given their stock plunge, they should hurry.

Room

We stayed in Beach Villa #19, one of 24 beachfront villas (28 hillside villas complete the 52). Indeed, Cheval Blanc’s signature style—lush green accents, intricate details, a free minibar, and daily pastries (regrettable but irresistible)—shines through. However, the open-plan layout flops for a 2025 build. Specifically, no separation between living and sleeping areas forces early-morning bathroom hideouts to avoid waking everyone. Furthermore, shared pathways erode privacy; you’ll stroll through your neighbour’s garden, exchanging awkward poolside glances.

Thankfully, the bathroom excels: double vanity, huge bathtub, Toto toilets (yes, plural!), and a guest toilet by the kitchenette. Still, annoyances persist—for instance, a shower handle I broke on arrival, clunky iPad controls, and curtains that let light sneak in. Although the pool is satisfactory, greenery blocks the “beachfront” ocean view for privacy. Instead, crashing waves thunder day and night, like a stock market crash on repeat.

Which Room?

The beach and hillside villas cost similar amounts, a choice that makes sense after meeting Ebola Beach. Specifically, beach villas, smaller and open-plan, lack practicality, whereas hillside villas offer separate living areas but require buggy rides and patience. For families, larger beachfront villas suit, except for Villa Horizon, a two-bedroom pitched as a flagship one-bedroom near the main area. Ironically, the five-bedroom villa, priced above $20k nightly, sits by the public beach access, where tourists camp out—a cultural immersion nobody requested.

Service

The [ Cheval Blanc ] team tries hard, but execution fumbles like the Wet Bandits. Since it’s only five months in, hiccups are no surprise. For example, they nailed our preferences without a Stay List, and welcome pastries dazzled—until promised refills vanished (chocolate betrayal hurts). Additionally, billing errors, like charging for “complimentary” spa treatments, and sluggish housekeeping, grated. Meanwhile, our butler, managing only our villa, was kind but reactive. By contrast, local staff often floundered, unsure of basic answers or even the bathroom’s location. However, expat managers and familiar faces from other resorts excelled, though the newer team needs polish. Notably, the GM’s enthusiasm for my review earns a nod.

Food

The food shines, especially the desserts (that Paris-Brest haunts me). However, breakfast pastries rotate daily but are mostly misses, except for a life-changing blueberry doughnut. Impressively, five restaurants for this property size stand out. For instance, Le White, the all-day hub, delivers consistency with a modest breakfast buffet and international lunch/dinner menu. Conversely, Sula, the beachside grill, looks gorgeous but flounders—slow service, forgotten orders, and a repetitive menu (order from Le White for sanity). Meanwhile, Vivamento (Italian) nails pizza and canapés, whereas Mizumi (Asian) fades into blandness, barely topping a UK chain. Ultimately, I skipped 1947’s three-hour tasting menu—tropics and poo-obsessed kids don’t mesh with fine dining.

Kids-Friendly

The kids’ club ranks among the best. It echoes Cheval Blanc Randheli’s DNA but boasts more space, outshining anything in the Seychelles. For example, a vast outdoor area offers slides, pools, and climbing frames, while indoors brims with toys and air hockey. Additionally, the manager, a star from Waldorf Astoria Platte Island, runs it from 10 am to 8 pm (9 am or 24/7 would be ideal). Moreover, kids under 5 eat free, and family-friendly dining hours (some restaurants open at 6 pm) help. Indeed, [Cheval Blanc]-branded kids’ amenities are adorably over-the-top.

The Good

• The easiest way to access

• Stunning design and setting

• Exceptional kids’ club

The Bad

• Deadly beach and ocean

• Public beach access

• Villas too close together

The Luxurious

• Stellar food (especially desserts)

• Impeccable design details

• Abundant facilities

Conclusion

Cheval Blanc Seychelles is a paradox. Indeed, we loved it—the design, kids’ club, and food scream Cheval Blanc. Moreover, it’s walkable, varied, and gorgeous. However, the location sabotages it. Specifically, the dangerous ocean, public beach access, and “just another resort” vibe dull the brand’s magic. Consequently, it’s not teething pains (staff will improve, landscaping will grow); it’s a fundamental flaw. Thus, this is the right brand in the wrong place.

As a standalone destination? Skip it. Instead, pair it with North Island or Waldorf Astoria as a Mahé base, but it lacks Randheli’s or Paris’s je ne sais quoi. Although fairly priced, it’s Mahe’s best (faint praise). Seychelles needed this, but a private island would’ve been truer to [Cheval Blanc ]’s ethos. Ultimately, it’s very good, not unforgettable.

Getting There

Seychelles travel tests patience. For instance, direct European flights vanished post-Covid, leaving Qatar/Emirates (great airlines, brutal timings) or Ethiopian (decent timings, questionable vibes). Fortunately, we picked Ethiopian; it worked. Additionally, VIP arrival in Mahe skips the chaos—a buggy and lounge streamline passports and bags. However, the 45-minute drive winds tightly; both kids vomited on cue. Thus, we’re unforgettable.